Forest Meditation Reflections
In the forest monastery, we could only eat one meal a day, just before lunch (and we were up a 4 to do yoga and start the day of meditation practice). Lunch was a lovely Thai curry with rice, and one could eat as much as one wanted.
Instinctually we gorged on the first few meals in fear that we'd get hungry, but all that did is make it impossible to sit comfortably to meditate! After a few days it was possible to eat a little bit and be ok for the rest of the day. Actually, we had a tea break from meditation at about 4:30 pm, and it was really great to see how the mind was conditioned by this routine--some days they served fresh warm soymilk with a little coffee in it. Boy, that really perked one up after a hot, sticky day of sitting and walking meditation (yes- there are four main body positions one can use for meditating--besides sitting, which we normally associate with meditation, one can use walking, standing, and lying. The sitting posture is good for long durations as you won't fall over or get exhausted. Lying is a bit tricky because one tends to get sleepy and doze off!). Anyway, I could feel myself being addicted to the caffeine rush from the afternoon coffee. It became a focus of the day, because we all looked forward to the warm soymilk. Some days they wouldn't serve it, and then you could feel the disappointment. It was a great lesson really, to see how foods can really control our attitudes.
When I first got back to Canada, I was really in to a good cup of strong coffee in the morning. But after a while I noticed it made me feel edgy and irritated. So I switched over to decaffeinated, and so I can enjoy the taste without the buzz. But, I learned that I don't really need it afterall. It's just another form of distraction/conditioned dependence. I enjoy it, but I can let it go too. What freedom!
About my returning being more difficult than going to Asia:
It was more of a cultural thing. I really found elements of life in Asia to be far more civilized and "mature' than our way of doing things. After all, their cultures extend back thousands of years. I found I preferred certain social values there than here, like general courtesy in public social interactions, a sense of cohesion and striving to do good for the greater good as opposed to a selfish desire to highlight how "different" and "individual" we are here. A simple example: I was shocked to see people sitting on the bus or in restaurants with their dirty shoes on the seat in front of them. I mean, is that mindful for the person who will sit there next? It just seemed so inappropriate and selfish.
People back here seemed so clumsy-minded too. In Asia it is a virture to be sharp. Hmm. Maybe that is why there are so many Asians in our universities--they realize how important it is to use the old noggan for productive purposes. Actually, they don't really have any second chances--once they fail a test or don't make it, there is no way back. Here we have the luxury of making mistakes and yet still continuing. There they don't, so they see the value of education and other types of opportunities and don't squander their turns to perform. Of course there is a broad range of "types" of people as there are here, but in some instances, they realize early on the value of doing one's best when it is a limitied opportunity.
Also I found I had no outlet for the experience I had back here. People just went along telling me what I had missed, filling me in on all the latest in their lives, but no-one really was interested in what I had experienced. For one thing, they probably didn't know what to ask! I don't blame them. But there are things so very different living there on all levels, like, how to use a phone, how to bathe, when to bathe, how to walk, how to buy things, how to have a relationship, and so on. People treated me like I had "missed" something, without realizing I was living a very fulfilling and interesting life. But for some reason, they just didn't want to hear about it.
I have such wonderful stories--weird, funny, crazy, sad, tragic, loving-- and they just don't count in this context. So it took about a year to get over that and realize I was back and noone would really know the depth of life I had experienced. It isn't better or worse than here--but very different. That said, I did find some things were better there than here--safety--food--cleanliness--their interest in world affairs. The downside was the conformity, the rigidness, the silly rules, the size of things (too small!). That's just a brief outline.
Anyway, I do visit my friends and take holidays about twice a year back in Asia. I really do love it there.
I came back like I intimated because of my family-- you know-- the parents aren't getting any younger, and I want to spend some time to get to know them all over again and enjoy their company. So in a lot of ways, my life is on hold as I dedicate it to being around for them. The meditation makes it clear that it really doesn't matter where you are, because you are there already! If I had my way, I would spend the winters in Asia, and come back for the Canadian summer. Ah- that would be just right.
Be well
Instinctually we gorged on the first few meals in fear that we'd get hungry, but all that did is make it impossible to sit comfortably to meditate! After a few days it was possible to eat a little bit and be ok for the rest of the day. Actually, we had a tea break from meditation at about 4:30 pm, and it was really great to see how the mind was conditioned by this routine--some days they served fresh warm soymilk with a little coffee in it. Boy, that really perked one up after a hot, sticky day of sitting and walking meditation (yes- there are four main body positions one can use for meditating--besides sitting, which we normally associate with meditation, one can use walking, standing, and lying. The sitting posture is good for long durations as you won't fall over or get exhausted. Lying is a bit tricky because one tends to get sleepy and doze off!). Anyway, I could feel myself being addicted to the caffeine rush from the afternoon coffee. It became a focus of the day, because we all looked forward to the warm soymilk. Some days they wouldn't serve it, and then you could feel the disappointment. It was a great lesson really, to see how foods can really control our attitudes.
When I first got back to Canada, I was really in to a good cup of strong coffee in the morning. But after a while I noticed it made me feel edgy and irritated. So I switched over to decaffeinated, and so I can enjoy the taste without the buzz. But, I learned that I don't really need it afterall. It's just another form of distraction/conditioned dependence. I enjoy it, but I can let it go too. What freedom!
About my returning being more difficult than going to Asia:
It was more of a cultural thing. I really found elements of life in Asia to be far more civilized and "mature' than our way of doing things. After all, their cultures extend back thousands of years. I found I preferred certain social values there than here, like general courtesy in public social interactions, a sense of cohesion and striving to do good for the greater good as opposed to a selfish desire to highlight how "different" and "individual" we are here. A simple example: I was shocked to see people sitting on the bus or in restaurants with their dirty shoes on the seat in front of them. I mean, is that mindful for the person who will sit there next? It just seemed so inappropriate and selfish.
People back here seemed so clumsy-minded too. In Asia it is a virture to be sharp. Hmm. Maybe that is why there are so many Asians in our universities--they realize how important it is to use the old noggan for productive purposes. Actually, they don't really have any second chances--once they fail a test or don't make it, there is no way back. Here we have the luxury of making mistakes and yet still continuing. There they don't, so they see the value of education and other types of opportunities and don't squander their turns to perform. Of course there is a broad range of "types" of people as there are here, but in some instances, they realize early on the value of doing one's best when it is a limitied opportunity.
Also I found I had no outlet for the experience I had back here. People just went along telling me what I had missed, filling me in on all the latest in their lives, but no-one really was interested in what I had experienced. For one thing, they probably didn't know what to ask! I don't blame them. But there are things so very different living there on all levels, like, how to use a phone, how to bathe, when to bathe, how to walk, how to buy things, how to have a relationship, and so on. People treated me like I had "missed" something, without realizing I was living a very fulfilling and interesting life. But for some reason, they just didn't want to hear about it.
I have such wonderful stories--weird, funny, crazy, sad, tragic, loving-- and they just don't count in this context. So it took about a year to get over that and realize I was back and noone would really know the depth of life I had experienced. It isn't better or worse than here--but very different. That said, I did find some things were better there than here--safety--food--cleanliness--their interest in world affairs. The downside was the conformity, the rigidness, the silly rules, the size of things (too small!). That's just a brief outline.
Anyway, I do visit my friends and take holidays about twice a year back in Asia. I really do love it there.
I came back like I intimated because of my family-- you know-- the parents aren't getting any younger, and I want to spend some time to get to know them all over again and enjoy their company. So in a lot of ways, my life is on hold as I dedicate it to being around for them. The meditation makes it clear that it really doesn't matter where you are, because you are there already! If I had my way, I would spend the winters in Asia, and come back for the Canadian summer. Ah- that would be just right.
Be well
posted by Gaga | 10:59 AM
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